Breath Mint, Soft Drink

by Dan Piepenbring

Yes I let him housesit for me. Yes he was housesitting on the night in question. You boys throw hardballs! Breath mint, soft drink? Mine’s a pretty big home. The electric here never goes out and some say we have too many refrigerators. The media says it. You hear complaints from time to time.

Eight refrigerators is how many refrigerators we have.

Yes he was my son at that period. Yes he was redheaded. I think I have a pretty good handle on people and their reasons for doing things. Well it is a matter of parental discretion as to when, if you ask me. Try one of those little green ones, they’re good. Just pick through them, you don’t have to eat all the ones you touch. Some children can take care of things alone much younger than other children can. I thought he could handle it. I thought he was a very bright boy, a bright young man. That’s good, right? I can see on your face, uh huh. Those ones pack a punch.

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Dan Pipenbring lives in Brooklyn. He is an assistant editor at Farrar, Straus and Giroux.